"Instrument of Peace" by Olivia Newton John

Where there is hatred, let me bring love

Where there is doubt, let me bring faith

Where there is falsehood, let me bring truth
Where there is pain, I'll comfort you

Where there is silence, let me sing praise
Where there's despair, let me bring hope

Where there is blindness, let me bring sight
Where there is darkness, let me bring light
And with these words I speak
Grant that I may not so seek
To be heard but to hear
To be consoled but to console,
Not to be seen, but to see
To be loved but to love

For when we give love we will receive

When we forgive love, we'll find reprieve
It is in dying we'll be released
Make me an instrument of peace

“Instrument of Peace” by Olivia Newton John

The Shift

Before I shift I am sludging through chest high mud. My movements are heavy, slow, and use immense energy. Tired and overwhelmed, I am fighting for a desire to continue.  Others running effortlessly above me, make me feel weak.  Dirty, disgusting and exhausted I long for relief.

After I shift I am a pure and precious angel of light.   My light beams brightly, radiating a path before me.   I am drawn toward the path, full of gratitude for the gifts it brings.  Flowers turn toward me and open, colors brighten and become tangible, smells enliven and energize, the air warms and lifts; the world turns toward me opening, empowering and supporting me and my light flows back.  

I started a blog!

Life as I know it changes daily.    Truth is powerful.  Some truths are eternal.  They will always be true.  Some truths are only situational.   Other truths aren't even true!  They dissolve when I take a closer look at them.    One of my goals in life is to move closer to living in truth;  Searching for truth, questioning what I believe to be true, cleaning out thoughts that I am hanging on to that are not true, and pushing in more thoughts that are true...at least for today...until I know differently. 

Dreams coming true

I have had this vision in the past.  I am not sure really where it came from, when I was asleep or awake.  I just know that I knew it somehow.  In the vision I am playing in my backyard.  I am pushing my brother in a swing and the big wood swing comes back and hits me in the face.  I fall to the ground and am crying feeling very hurt.  My father comes up to me and nudges me with his foot and says "it doesn't hurt that bad, get up!"  I then realize I have it in me to get up without his help.  I turn and reach up and grab the Saviors hand and stand.  I don't just rise, I rise in magnificence.  I am shining.  I look at the world and see how beautiful it is. I see green grass and golden sunshine.  A clean grey sidewalk cleanly cuts a path away from the house.  I skip with joy along the sidewalk.  I love knowing I am enough.
I feel like this has come true.  How greatful I am to a father who allows me to find my power within.  What a beautiful gift to give.  I know if he would pick me up and support me I would never need to stand on my own.  I love what he has done for me.   I love my father.  And I love what I have found within.

Imagery

December 1, 2011
I know what my wants are.  I want my Savior to fill the aching emtiness inside.  I want to feel His image inside, so that I am whole.  Then as a whole, I can give without fearing.  I can love without fearing the pain that comes with love.

I have an older brother Jesus Christ.
 A beautiful, strong, safe man.

 He will hold me when I am little.
 When I am afraid, He will pick me up.
 I will feel His strong arms around me,

 I smell His skin, feel His chest breathing as He comforts and protects me.
 I feel His warmth.
 My face is embedded in a soft robe and hair on His chest as His hands cradle my head.
 I know that I will never doubt His love.

 He is sure. 

He won't leave me. 
All night He will be there. 
He will rub my arms and back, gently stroke my hair and pull it out of my eyes.  I feel safe.  I can sleep with the warm comfort of calm and content.  I am happy.

 My heart heals in His presence.  He feels and smells so good.  I enjoy every moment.  I can have Him as long as I want.
 I feel strength in his arms and chest.

 He is beautiful to behold. 

He has the ability to love everyone like this.  There is abundance.
 I let go of scarcity, fear of not enough or running out or time is up or lost love or deserving.
 I can have my fill, I am full forever.

 He will always be there. 

He can go anywhere with me.  He loves me.  I can only please Him.
 I am only good in His eyes. I am enough.  I am good.  I am beautiful.  I am pure.
 He sees me as all this and more. 

He will hold my hand all the time. 

The dark, dead,  burnt wounds sluff off. The hollowness fills. My heart  burns strong and hot. I am alive.
 I lean into His touch, absorbing, healing.  Touch is so beauriful.  Kind.  Soft. Loving.  Empowering. 

He can actually be with me, inside.  An added part connecting with me.  I am more.
 I see His chest within mine. I see Him filling me. My face radiates His.  I feel our strength supporting, holding me up.. 

Clean.  Oh so clean, pure, light, precious.  I shine.  He makes me whole, beautiful.
 All I want is to please Him.  I curl up closer.  I look at His face, His chest, His arms and hands, admire His beauty.  Pull him closer, tighter.  I don't have enough, but there is plenty of time.  I never have to leave.
 I feel the ability to love others more, without fear.  I could relieve their pain.  I want to reach out and comfort, inspire, relieve, enlighten. 
Sitting in His arms is pure.  No fears arise.

 Walk with me.  Go with me.  Wait for me.  Watch me at school.
 I will run and play like the other kids, if you don't leave.  Stay right where I can see you.
 Could I really go play and be safe?  I can let my guard down?

 I  let go.

 I keep looking back.  He is there.
 I feel Him with me too!

 He is still there.  I am here, and He is here and there.

Climb, jump- I still see Him. I feel Him. Swing, run, laugh.
 The teacher comes.  Christ is with me.  Between me and the teacher.  Unless I want to walk in front.  I can.
Fear turns to excitement.
 I ask Him about my fear.  Is it dirty?  It was a need for love.  I have love that feels so much more.  No fear.  I much prefer this love. He knows, I know how to give me what I deserve.

 I am only clean in His eyes. His presence purifies me.  I feel it move through my whole body. Fear dissolves.  I feel  excitement.  I wonder if I am flying.  I feel light.

Time passes without my knowing.  Time disappears. 
He is like a warm bath of energy, filling strengthening.
 It flows in around, and through, making me more, bigger, but not lost.
 Not overpowering me, and very powerful, much stronger than just me.
 connecting.... 

There is a light that shimmers, ignites, electrifies, kindles, soothes, warms, cools, flows all around, growing, spreading. Comfort.  Peace. Joy. Love. Light. Alive.  Dance! Sing! Share the feeling!!!  I run back to His lap all day.  Like a drink of water, I want more. 

We walk through life together.  I do alot of things different.  I no longer need the approval of some.  So I just say no.  I draw others because they want to feel Christ.  Mistakes, misunderstandings are turned into strenghts, lessons, learning, good news.  I dance.  I sing.  I love.  I share.  I empower.  I  am.
I feel that I am becoming Christ.  I am.  He was always me.  We are one.

  I am a beautiful, powerful, passionate, spirit woman of light.