As I have been meditating, I have become aware that I am the observer of my thoughts and my body. One particular day as I was meditating, observing my thoughts and body, I became aware that my body was really unbalanced. I was shocked. I have thought this many times and dismissed it, possibly because I didn't want to do anything about it or I didn't know what to do about it or I doubted my commitment to do something about it. I would wake up at night with anxious dreams, and lie in bed awake becoming more and more anxious. I experienced a weight to life that would make every task a matter of spirit over mind. I was counting this a blessing. I was learning to change my habit of focusing on the mind to living life from my spirit's view. Yet this particular moment when I saw my body as so disfunctional, I realized I deserve to do something about it. I looked at my options I was aware of natural methods including hormone testing and supplements. I knew that would include going off sugar and a diet change to do it correctly. Traditional Drs. were another option with antidepressants, yet I have been resisting this for a while. I went off antidepressants five years ago and have been educating myself with tools to help me cope since then. I am significantly better than I was five years ago, simply because I don't feed the emotions, I can observe and experience and not completely be overcome with them. Yet, one frustration I am having is that I am not functioning much in life while I am constantly in a battle with heavy, weighty, amxious thoughts that I realized were being influenced from the inbalance within my body. I feel I am getting stronger in spirit, and it is time to move to the next level ...a healthy body.
Monday, February 10, 2013 I committed to go off of sugar, gluten, and dairy for two months. I have to know if this will help. I am done with wondering if I would feel so much better without my sugar addiction. I am done selling my health and happiness for an unfulfilling moment of melting chocolate in my mouth. I called a support aunt of mine, Judy, and got information, motivation, and determination. Thank God for relationships. ( I have to remind myself of that..sometimes I forget I love to have others in my life and become ungrateful) I love the people in my life!
Today is day 6!!!!! That is a huge accomplishment. I am going to call and get myself a massage. I am doing so good. If you could see my spirit it is dancing! Singing! and loving life. . I have been through a Young Womens party (with chocolate), a ward dinner (with a buffet of desserts), a valentines day (with chocolate) and a whole entire day of baking three chocolate cakes with peanut butter frosting. (My biggest weakness used to be chocolate and peanut butter.) Whoa! I am amazing. I am a beatiful, powerful, passionate women of light. And so it is.
I woke up with a headache, but my mind is calm and feeling good! I am headed off for a run.
Meditation has been huge in my life. There is a strength and peace that I am finding that is blessing my life tremendously.
Monday, February 10, 2013 I committed to go off of sugar, gluten, and dairy for two months. I have to know if this will help. I am done with wondering if I would feel so much better without my sugar addiction. I am done selling my health and happiness for an unfulfilling moment of melting chocolate in my mouth. I called a support aunt of mine, Judy, and got information, motivation, and determination. Thank God for relationships. ( I have to remind myself of that..sometimes I forget I love to have others in my life and become ungrateful) I love the people in my life!
Today is day 6!!!!! That is a huge accomplishment. I am going to call and get myself a massage. I am doing so good. If you could see my spirit it is dancing! Singing! and loving life. . I have been through a Young Womens party (with chocolate), a ward dinner (with a buffet of desserts), a valentines day (with chocolate) and a whole entire day of baking three chocolate cakes with peanut butter frosting. (My biggest weakness used to be chocolate and peanut butter.) Whoa! I am amazing. I am a beatiful, powerful, passionate women of light. And so it is.
I woke up with a headache, but my mind is calm and feeling good! I am headed off for a run.
Meditation has been huge in my life. There is a strength and peace that I am finding that is blessing my life tremendously.
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